Crossroads

Have you ever had to make a decision and not made the right one? You arrive at a crossroads and one path seems to be the right one, however, it turns out to be the wrong one.

My journey with God this week has been a little comical and also a huge life lesson for me. I have been doing a very in-depth bible study on David and this week’s theme was crossroads. I am thoroughly enjoying the study and going deeper with God –but I didn’t realize that I was going to get tested on it. It turns out that I had to sit a practical exam on the same topic I had been studying! I am sure it was to see whether I had actually learnt from study!

My bible study has been focusing on the story of David, Bathsheba and Uriah. A story where the man after God’s own heart is given a practical exam – and fails.

David – now King of Israel, successful in all he does and known across the land for his faithfulness to God comes to a crossroads in his life  - and he makes a bad choice. David, falls in love with Bathsheba and enquires after her. His advisor tells him that Bathsheba is the wife to Uriah – one of David’s mighty men.  Crossroad number one – David has the choice to pursue Bathsheba, or leave her alone. David’s desires get the better of him and he takes the path that leads to destruction.

When Bathsheba falls pregnant, David comes to his second crossroad – he has the choice to either tell Uriah or to deceive him. David not only tries to deceive Uriah, but when that doesn’t work, David organizes for Uriah to be killed.

David – when given a second chance to make the right choice, chose poorly. The consequences of David’s actions were grave and you can read about it in 2 Samuel 11 and 12.

This week, I came to a crossroads. I was presented with a choice and I ignored the little niggling voice in my head that was trying to direct me down the right path, and I chose the other path.

For three days I suffered with sleepless nights, guilt, and worry which all then had a flow on affect in my life. I decided to make it right. I decided to repent and choose the other path. Happy and peaceful in my decision, here came the comical part. Four days after I had made the wrong choice and gone down the wrong path and one day after my repentance and turning around to the right path – I was given the exact same practical exam again. I was given the exact same choice and the exact same crossroad that I had experienced four days before. But this time – I chose the right path. And I had peace.

My God – the God of second chances – had seen my repentant heart and had mercy on me. My God – the God of second chances – had offered me a do-over exam. My God – the God of second chances – had redeemed me and brought me peace and joy.

Each day in life, we come to crossroads. Whether these decisions are small – like what we are going to cook for dinner or large – where they affect our lives and the lives of those around us in a dramatic way, we all come to a time where we have to make choices.

The wrong path will lead us down a road of consequences that can emotionally, spiritually and physically affect us whilst the right path can lead us down a road of blessing that can emotionally, spiritually and physically uplift us.

The good news is – there is redemption. There are second chances. There is a God who loves mercy and who sees our hearts. Whilst man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart and he will not turn his back on the repentant one.

This is the prayer that David prayed when his sin was revealed to him and this is the prayer I prayed this week:

Psalm 51

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 

When you come to a crossroads – ask God to give you the wisdom and strength to make the right choice. And dear one – if you find yourself down the wrong path – trust in a God of second chances, call unto him to create a clean heart in you and to restore joy and peace. He won’t turn you away.

Extravagant Self-Sacrifice

 

“It is not a moral life that the gospel promotes –

 it is a life of extravagant self-sacrifice.”

 

These words have been resonating in my soul for over a week now. They were spoken at a conference I attended by Revd Dr John Dickson, who is an extraordinary communicator and the co-founder for Public centre for Christianity.

Extravagant self-sacrifice.

The word extravagant is defined as “exceeding reasonable bounds” and “extremely abundant.”

Responding to this call means that the gospel challenges us to sacrifice ourselves beyond what reason dictates as being normal and to do it abundantly.

A story that moved my heart this week was when I was having coffee with my friend, Renee, and she told me of a friend of hers who had experienced this extravagant self-sacrifice in such an amazing way that he knew it could only be the love of God and so gave his life to the Lord.

Renee told me that her friend was drawn to church one day in a state of hopelessness. He had lost everything he owned and had found himself homeless and lost as to what to do. When visiting this church, he shared with another man his state of despair and loss of hope. Responding in empathy, the man of God turned to Renee’s homeless friend and said “Take my home.”

Stunned and unsure as to how to respond, he looked at the man. “Pardon?”

“Take my home. God will provide for me and you are in need. Take my home and I will find somewhere else.”

This man was so moved by the extravagant self-sacrifice of this Christian man, he knew it could only by the love of God that would enable someone to give up their home and life as they know it for someone else.

Extravagant self-sacrifice.

This is what Jesus gave us. He saw us in despair, lost and in a pit of darkness. He had pity on us and he came to earth and said – Take my life.

Take my life for you are in need of hope. Take my life for you are in need of rescue. Take my life for you are in need of being saved.

It is the pure love of God that elicits extravagant self-sacrifice. And it is extravagant self-sacrifice that draws people to the pure  love of God.

The gospel does not ask us to live a good life. It does not ask us to live a moral life. It asks us to live a life of love….and extravagant self-sacrifice.

What do you see when you look at life- ANTs or Lace?

When you look at this picture, what do you see?

I was scrolling through my facebook last week and on my newsfeed, my friend Tonya Stone who is a brilliant photographer with her own business, Stone Creative Photography, posted this photo.
Before reading the caption my immediate thought was - why is she posting a photo of a leaf with holes in it?
Now obviously the leaf has been nibbled away at by a very hungry insect and I started questioning why Tonya had thought it was a cool thing to take a photo of this.

However...then I read the caption that Tonya had beautifully written alongside the photo:

 

"This delicate heart shaped leaf reminds me of lace. Spend time in nature and really look at the shapes, patterns and textures. There is beauty and love everywhere."

 

What an eye opener this was for me! Tonya had challenged me on my thinking. And suddenly I felt God challenging me on my thinking. Tonya had a beautiful God perspective on creation - and I had missed it.

 

I had seen roughness where she had seen beauty. I had seen an ugly pattern, where she had seen the elegance of lace. I had seen something unrefined where she had seen love and loveliness.

 

In my psychology lecture this week, we have been talking about ANTs - Automatic Negative Thoughts. These ANTs are what can cause us to see the glass half empty. They can cause us to have a negative perspective on life and, if prevalent for long enough, they can eventually lead us into depression.

 

These ANTs are not of God either. Our God is good and lovely and beautiful and as one who created us, He wants us to have beautiful minds also. God challenges us on our thinking in Romans 12:2 :

 

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."

 

The pattern of this world is to look at life the opposite of how God sees it. And the pattern of how we can see ourselves is to look at ourselves the way the world sees us, not how God see us.

Do you know that when God looks at us, He doesn't see the holes, the scars and the ugly pattern that we see? He sees us as beautiful elegant lace. The heart that is scarred from a life of hardship and challenges is a heart that He sees as beautiful and lovely.

 

God doesn't view us the way the world does. And He doesn't want us to view life with Automatic Negative Thoughts. He wants us to invite the Holy Spirit to transform our minds so that we see life differently and have a new perspective on things. Where we once saw ugliness, He wants us to see beauty.

 

My challenge this week is to stop my ANTs in their track and ask God's Holy Spirit to transform my mind, so that I can see beauty in my everyday life.

 

What do you see when you look at life - ANTs or Lace?

 

When Admiration becomes Envy

Have you ever been camping and had tent envy?

 

Our family just went camping last week for the first time in 4 years. And we had a brilliant time...but I experienced a severe cast of tent envy. Well actually tarp envy!!! 

Anyone who has been camping before knows that it is a common practice to check out other people's setup. You know that when you arrive, people will be watching you. You can feel their eyes on you as you set up your tent and they are watching how you go about this process and also checkout what sort of camping gear you have. And then you do the exact same thing when other people arrive after you...you sit back and watch them setup their camping spot!

It has been 4 years since our last camping trip so we did not have a lot of camping gear, however, we had enough to make do. We had two tents, sleeping bags, a gas cooker, a weber bbq, a table and chairs and a friend of ours generously offered us his tarp to use as our shelter for our eating area.

 But when we got there to setup, we realized we only had 4 tent poles to hold the tarp up and being such a heavy tarp and a windy campsite, this was a recipe for trouble. James, my husband, spent most of the time over 2 days adjusting the poles and tightening the straps until eventually on third day we were there, a lovely old man waltzed over to inform us that there was a wind of 30knots coming through and we should really just take it down.

Meanwhile, over yonder on another campsite, there was a couple who had set up the day after us. I had watched him intently in his setting up because the more I observed him, the more I was in awe. In fact, I was mesmerized! This man displayed such organisation, efficiency and ease in his setting up, he was clearly a camping expert! His tarp had a crossbeam, many strong tent poles and ropes and within a matter of 15 minutes or so - it was in place - and it was staying there!  Whilst we were experiencing continuous trouble with our tarp, this couple were chilling back and relaxing!! Not once in the entire 4 days we were there did he have to adjust the ropes, move poles, or check its stability..not even during the 30knot wind gust!
I wanted his setup!!! I had a severe case of tent and tarp envy!

 So...when does admiration become envy? When does looking to other people's example become jealousy?  When do we move from being inspired to being green?

Often we can look to other people's lives and be envious of where they are at and the lives they are living and the setup they have, not realizing that we are really telling God that the life He has given us and all that He has blessed us with is not good enough.  Our green eyes can lead to a resentful heart without our realization.

 

In our jealousy and wishfulness for someone else's life, we miss the point. When we spoke to our fabulous tarp man, he informed us that his setup was the result of years of camping failures, mishaps and experiences that have led him to learn how to create a great camping experience. This is the point that we miss!! What we fail to realize is that the setup others have in their life is because they are in a different season to us, they have different experiences to us and God has given them a different purpose to us. We miss this because we envy what they have in the present and neglect what they have been through in the past.

 

Don't envy the life that someone else has. They are just on a different journey to you and in a different season to you. They have learnt from their experiences, their mishaps, their failures. Yes, the bible tells us to look wisely to other people's example. But it also warns us against envy. It can harden your heart and make you lose focus.

 

God has created you unique and special. There is no one else like you and there never will be. No one else is in the same season as you...similar ...but not the same. Because you are unique.

 So..learn. Learn from others, learn from your mistakes, mishaps, and experiences - but most of all, learn from the word of God that is your guide to a great setup. Do this...and you will be able to live and enjoy a great inspirational life that is created from experience, knowledge and wisdom - after all, wisdom is just knowledge applied in practice with experience. Do this and you will set an example to others and they will look to you for how well you are setup for life!

 A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones. Proverbs 14:30

 

"Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

I once was blind but now I see

We grew up the best of friends. Cousins by birth, sisters by heart. Although our homes were separated by thousands of kilometres, it didn’t matter. Each time we were reunited, it was as if we had never been apart. No one knows me like my cousin Erin does.

But our differences also significantly defined us and often had us questioning each other in a bid to understand where the other one was coming from. Especially as we grew into young adults. I was the dreamer and the romantic. Erin was the realist and activist. I loved romantic movies, she loved musicals. She loved news and politics, I loved the entertainment news. I went to uni and studied business, whilst Erin went to uni and studied politics and religion.

These differences also spilt out into our Christian faith and walk. Both of us are very strong Christians so our desire to live for Jesus was our strongest bond. What I couldn’t connect with Erin about was her passion for social justice, her fight for the poor and her missional heart. Don’t get me wrong – I admired her immensely for her passion and advocacy. But it didn’t interest me. I believed God had called me to minister in other areas that I was passionate about and that was different to Erin’s calling.

I believed this – up until 2 years ago. In 2011, I applied for a job with World Vision as Regional Relationships Coordinator - and I was successful. This excited me. For different reasons than you may be thinking. Firstly, I was excited I was working for a Christian organization but I was mostly excited that 10 years after graduating from my Human Resource Management degree, I was finally able to use it! And of course, when I told all my friends and family, Erin was the one who was the most excited for me. And so began a new season of God teaching me.

What I have learned in this past two years has changed my heart and my idea of what Christ calls us to as his followers. Working for World Vision opened my eyes up to a world I never realized existed. A world that needs our help. We are citizens of an entire globe and when Jesus call us to love our neighbours, he means the poor hardworking farmers in Ethiopia, as well as the people who live next to us.

Isaiah 58 tells us that if we spend ourselves on behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed then our light will rise in the darkness and our night will become like the noonday.

My blindness to God’s people and their need for justice has been lifted. The light has shone in – the light of Christ’s love for his people – into my heart. And now I want to shine that light stronger than ever before.

Sadly, today is my last day with World Vision. I have had to leave this beautiful organization for personal reasons, but I am so grateful. I am grateful for the people of this organization who work tirelessly to help bring sustainable change in the lives of the poor. I am grateful to the people who partner and support World Vision, giving out of themselves to help others. I am grateful to Erin who is an inspirational example of what it is to have a missional heart and passion for justice. And I am grateful to God for opening my eyes and lifting my blindness and for breaking my heart for the things that break His – so I can love his people.

Keeping your eye on the blue line

She was looking at me as if I shouldn't be there.

I had asked her to share her lane with me, as every other lane was taken, and she declined. I was there to do laps in the pool just as she was, but she didn't want to share.

Now I was swimming two lanes down from her in another lane that some lovely person had agreed to share with me and out of the corner of my eye, I could see her watching me and it was a clear message - this was her territory and she was not impressed by me.

"How can I do this?" I thought. After a pretty stressful couple of months, the doctor had told me that swimming was great for stress. So here I was - trying to release some stress and enjoy my time in the pool before picking up the kids from school and all I could feel was the awkwardness of someone disdainfully staring at me. Not only that, but there were three teenage boys in another lane who were making their colourful language heard throughout the pool complex.

I am never coming back here. I knew this wouldn't work. I hate this. ....These were the thoughts going through my mind. Not exactly the thoughts I wanted to be thinking during some time out!

But as I continued to push and move through the water, I started to focus on the blue line at the bottom of the pool. I focused on my arm strokes, my kicking, my breathing..and on the blue line. Suddenly I realized all noise was a complete muffle and I was no longer aware of other people watching me and what they might think of me...it was as if it was just me and the water and the blue line.

And then I saw it!!! As I followed the blue line down the pool, it led me to the deep end....and painted on the wall at the deep end for me to see my goal was a black cross.

You see, when I stopped focusing on the noise and the looks and the opinions of others, I could swim lap after lap after lap - and I enjoyed it. I began to feel my mind relax and my body got into a rhythm and I could feel the stress melt away as I focused on the path that was my blue line and the cross that was set before me.
The word of God says:

"Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you." Proverbs 4:24

"Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. " Hebrews 12:1-2

It is so easy to get caught up in the noise of the world and the opinions of others. But..if we throw off these things that entangle us and tie us down and persevere to follow the path set before us -  our body and soul fall in rhythm with the Spirit and our minds relax as all things become muffled by our eyes fixed on our Saviour.

I am going back to the pool. I am ready to persevere again. I am ready to drown out the world around me and keep my eyes fixed on the blue line.