Why I haven't written a blog in 3 months..

I could use the excuse that I have been too busy...but I haven't. 

I lead a crazy life, yet if I really wanted to I could sit down and for a short moment in my week, I could write.

I could say that I have had nothing to write but that is not true...God is doing new things all the time and when I see Him doing something new in my life or in the lives of those around me, I often think...'That would be good to blog about.'

I could use alot of other reasons, but it would all be a mask.

The reason I have not blogged is that I was scared off...

Whilst many encouraging comments came in from my last blog, a small, minute number of comments that I received were enough to make me pause. These opinions were of the consensus that it was wrong of me to be so honest about my feelings and thoughts and that I should not be sharing so honestly with the world.

This has made me pause. And think. And reflect. And now I am ready to respond.

It gravely concerns me that when someone shares a part of their life in an honest transparent way, we get uncomfortable. Let's face it...none of us are perfect. We are all works in progress and all on our own journeys. Yet, the reality of another's struggles makes us uncomfortable. We like the masks that we have created and placed on ourselves. When someone removes their mask to reveal some truth about themselves, we become uneasy. 

Do you wear a mask for others? Do you wear a mask for yourself? Do you wear a mask for God?

Psychologist Merry Lin writes about this in her book, The Fully Lived Life:

A short excerpt:

"Faking your way through life is believing that if you let people know the real you, they won't like you. Maybe it seems that nothing you ever do is ever enough. The tapes that play in your head say that if people really knew what was going on inside you, they would lose respect for you. Maybe you keep trying to pretend to make others happy, including God, and you are exhausted, physically, emotionally and spiritually. While you play those roles, juggling those masks you have to wear and hiding your pain ... the pressure increases to keep pretending you have it all together. Consider the cost of our souls when we do this, the loss of ourselves ... I would never discover my true identity ... unless I began identifying and laying down my masks, and so I began a process of stripping down the defenses I had built up over the years."

So here are my reasons for why I will continue to share my life with others. ..

1. Sharing my struggles with others creates space for them to share their own similar experiences. Doing life together is so much better than doing it alone. Taking the mask off reassures others and myself that I am not perfect (never will be) and that I have flaws and therefore the fact that they also have flaws is not only comforting but is normal. Giving people permission to not be perfect releases them. Giving permission to the people around you to be honest about who they are is a way of handing them their freedom. Create space for others to open up about their lives. You don't have to be perfect and neither do they. Get rid of the mask!

2. Sharing my thoughts helps me to process my thoughts. As we verbalise or jot down our thoughts and feelings they become real. Clarity from the millions of mixed jumbled thoughts in our minds helps us to process and discover who we really are and what we are really thinking. This helps us in our journey of discovering our identity in who God made us to be.

3. It is a huge drain on mind, body and soul to live a life pretending to be someone you are not. It is also extremely draining to be denying emotions and pretending you are not feeling what you are feeling. My desire is to have a healthy mind, body and soul and thus by accepting and acknowledging my true identity, I am not going to be draining myself by being at war with myself. I want to live the full abundant life that Jesus came to give me (John 10:10).

4. It helps me to focus on others. Instead of processing and trying to sort out my own stuff, by being honest with who I am and what I am feeling, I can help others who are going through similar experiences or can focus on those who are going through worse things than me. Consistently holding everything in, means we become turned in on ourselves and focused on ourselves. Getting rid of our own baggage means we have the capacity to help others carry theirs. 

So...I leave you with the lyrics of Mandisa's song "What if we were real" and challenge you with the possibilities of this world if we removed the masks and were real...

Well, I'm tired of saying everything I feel
Like I'm supposed to say
I'm tired of smiling all the time
I wanna throw the mask away

Sometimes you just have a bad day
Sometimes you just wanna scream
Tell me I'm not the only one
Tell me that you feel just like me

We keep trying
To make it look so nice
And we keep hiding
What's going on inside

But what if I share my brokenness
What if you share how you feel?
And what if we weren't afraid of this crazy mess?
What if we were real? What if we were real?

I'm over hiding my tears
I think I'm gonna let 'em go
I'm over acting so strong
When I ain't even in control

We make it so complicated
But why does it have to be?
Why can't we open our hearts
And let everybody see?

We keep trying
To make it look so nice
And we keep hiding
What's going on inside

But what if I share my brokenness
What if you share how you feel?
And what if we weren't afraid of this crazy mess?
What if we were real?

We'd think a little less of ourselves
We'd care about somebody else
'Cause we'd know just how they feel

Maybe we could let someone love us
Maybe we'd be a little more like Jesus
Why can't we learn to be real?

We keep trying
To make it look so nice
And we keep hiding
What's going on inside

But what if I share my brokenness
What if you share how you feel?
And what if we weren't afraid of this crazy mess?
What if we were real?

Just meant to be real
Just meant to be real
Just meant to be real
Just meant to, just meant to