A woman to be feared

Oh! How these words took hold of my heart as I read them.

Standing in line at the shops, I pulled out my phone to check messages and indulge in my daily dose of social media and there it was....posted in my newsfeed...staring at me in black and white. These words so specifically speaking to me, I felt them reaching deep within my soul as a raw nerve was pulled.

Yes..this is my weakness.

My need, my desire, my consistent longing to meet other people's approval or expectation of me. Or the expectations I think they have of me. This trait in my personality has often seen me sacrifice much to keep other people happy. In so many ways - I have sacrificed much due to the need for validation:

I have looked to other people's approval for the decisions I want to make for my life.

I have avoided stepping out when I felt called to for fear of disapproval.

I have spent many hours dwelling on the question of whether I have offended someone or not as my mind performs mental gymnastics, flipping through past moments to decipher how I could have caused them to treat me seemingly funny or disapprovingly.

I have sacrificed the values and beliefs I have within myself because I held back from voicing my opinion for fear of not being accepted.

This personality trait...this need for validation...this weakness...it is like a web that I am so completely tangled in that, when I allow myself to be caught in it, I cannot truly be free to live the life God has so graciously and costly given me.

This weakness is one that He has been fervently speaking to me about...whispering to me in worship, highlighting in my devotions, commonly a topic rising in conversations over coffee with friends. How common a weakness it is for many!

But how dangerous a trap!

The danger comes in two forms. Firstly, the one who allows the opinions and voices of others to be heard over God's, exalts them above Him. We listen to and worry over the opinions of others neglecting to seek the One who's opinion and approval is the only one that matters. Suddenly we find the worship and idolizing in our hearts is not of our Creator, but of those who are as human and naïve as we are. We are created to worship  - but if we do not seek to worship and serve our God, we will find something else to worship. When the validation of others becomes so important in our lives that we need it in order for us to live our lives - we are suddenly worshipping the wrong thing.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God?

Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people,

I would not be a servant of Christ."

Galatians 1:10.

The second danger is that we naively believe we are God. For the power to delve into the depths of another man's thoughts is one that belongs to God's alone. Man cannot truly know another man's mind and heart. Therefore the surety of approval, the foundation of validation, cannot be truly known. And now we are basing our life decisions and value on the perceived thoughts of others. Of Man who cannot be trusted to be a solid foundation.


The woman who is the one to be most feared on the planet is the one who lays her foundation of life decisions on validation from God. She seeks His approval only. She seeks her value and worth from He who created her, who knows her intimately, who sees her heart and knows the purpose for which she was created. A woman who lives life without needing the validation of anyone but the one who firstly created her and then saved her.. she is one to be feared.

"Instead, just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel,

so we speak, not to please men, but rather God, who examines our hearts."

1 Thessalonians 2:4