A Sacrifice bigger than Chocolate!

 

 

I am a Christian. I am also an Anglican – have been all my life. I grew up in an Anglican family. I am married to an Anglican minister. We have 4 Anglican children. We are your normal everyday family – who are Anglican…and Love God with our entire beings!

As part of our Anglican tradition, we have a time in our church year which we call the season of Lent. It is the 46 days and nights, minus the Sunday’s (so really 40) in the lead up to Easter. It is a time of preparation, a time of reflection, a time of fasting. Typically, people give up something of significance like chocolate, alcohol, social media etc or take up something like spending more time with God, volunteering in the local community, reading their bible more.

It is not a time that we gain favour with God or build up our ‘spiritual muscles’ but rather a time where we identify with the humility of our Saviour and we try to give expression to that in the journey of Christ up until his death.

So what did I give up?

Well this year, as I was praying about what I was going to give up for lent, I was in the kitchen racing around getting ready for the day. It had not been an easy week – things had been quite busy and stressful and I found myself quite tense. And in my tense state – my husband was the one who bore the brunt of that. An easy target, James is usually the one that I offload my stress onto – often through slamming cupboards, silent treatment, or even yelling. It often starts with me blaming him for a whole lot of things and taking things out on him, before I get to the part where I tell him I am sorry and that actually I am really stressed about other things in life at the time and I didn’t mean to take it out on him. Sound familiar?

God really challenged me on this in the lead up to lent. Often it is our loved ones who we hurt first. We take them for granted as they are usually in the firing line first and we know they love us and they will forgive us. But that doesn’t make it right.

So many scriptures in the bible encourage us and direct us to turn to God in the tense and stressful times - to give our burdens over to Him, to not be anxious but to pray continually, to seek Him in times of need, to call out to Him when in trouble, to stand firm on Him as our solid rock, to take shelter under His wings.

So what did I give up for Lent? I gave up yelling at James.

You might laugh and it is a little funny but also extremely challenging.

You see, in the midst of Lent, my husband has gone away for 3 weeks. You might think that this makes my Lenten promise easier with James not around. But in fact – it is so much harder. Currently I am a week and half into his absence and it has been proven that every time James goes away – lots of things happen to test me – sometimes even disasters! On a side note – it is during these times that I have developed complete respect and honour for the single parents who do it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks in a year. They are my heroes!

And it is at the end of a very long day when multiple things have happened, I am exhausted and trying to put children to bed, when James rings and starts off in a cheery voice “Hello!! How has your day been?!”

There in those moments, when I want to reach through the phone and grab him and say “Look here mate, you have no idea what my day was like so don’t give me that cheery voice!”  when God reminds me that I have made a promise.

I have made a promise not to take my husband’s love and forgiveness for granted. I have made a promise not to devalue the blessing he is to me by treating him poorly. I have made a promise to love the man that God gifted me with.

I have made a promise to rely on God for my strength. I have made a promise to rely on God to be my comfort, to be my rock, to calm me with his peace, to lead me by quiet water, to still my anxious soul and to be sheltered with His wings.

So as I am feeling the stress build up and I am wanting to rip into James on the phone as he sometimes display complete oblivion to the stresses of what comes when you are being a single parent of 4 children, studying and in ministry – I just chant in my head “Lenten promise, Lenten promise, Lenten promise!”

And then I hang up the phone and go and spend time with the one whose shoulder’s are big enough to carry my burden’s and yours….and eat chocolate... because I didn’t give that up for Lent!

 

 

 

A woman to be feared

Oh! How these words took hold of my heart as I read them.

Standing in line at the shops, I pulled out my phone to check messages and indulge in my daily dose of social media and there it was....posted in my newsfeed...staring at me in black and white. These words so specifically speaking to me, I felt them reaching deep within my soul as a raw nerve was pulled.

Yes..this is my weakness.

My need, my desire, my consistent longing to meet other people's approval or expectation of me. Or the expectations I think they have of me. This trait in my personality has often seen me sacrifice much to keep other people happy. In so many ways - I have sacrificed much due to the need for validation:

I have looked to other people's approval for the decisions I want to make for my life.

I have avoided stepping out when I felt called to for fear of disapproval.

I have spent many hours dwelling on the question of whether I have offended someone or not as my mind performs mental gymnastics, flipping through past moments to decipher how I could have caused them to treat me seemingly funny or disapprovingly.

I have sacrificed the values and beliefs I have within myself because I held back from voicing my opinion for fear of not being accepted.

This personality trait...this need for validation...this weakness...it is like a web that I am so completely tangled in that, when I allow myself to be caught in it, I cannot truly be free to live the life God has so graciously and costly given me.

This weakness is one that He has been fervently speaking to me about...whispering to me in worship, highlighting in my devotions, commonly a topic rising in conversations over coffee with friends. How common a weakness it is for many!

But how dangerous a trap!

The danger comes in two forms. Firstly, the one who allows the opinions and voices of others to be heard over God's, exalts them above Him. We listen to and worry over the opinions of others neglecting to seek the One who's opinion and approval is the only one that matters. Suddenly we find the worship and idolizing in our hearts is not of our Creator, but of those who are as human and naïve as we are. We are created to worship  - but if we do not seek to worship and serve our God, we will find something else to worship. When the validation of others becomes so important in our lives that we need it in order for us to live our lives - we are suddenly worshipping the wrong thing.

"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings or of God?

Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people,

I would not be a servant of Christ."

Galatians 1:10.

The second danger is that we naively believe we are God. For the power to delve into the depths of another man's thoughts is one that belongs to God's alone. Man cannot truly know another man's mind and heart. Therefore the surety of approval, the foundation of validation, cannot be truly known. And now we are basing our life decisions and value on the perceived thoughts of others. Of Man who cannot be trusted to be a solid foundation.


The woman who is the one to be most feared on the planet is the one who lays her foundation of life decisions on validation from God. She seeks His approval only. She seeks her value and worth from He who created her, who knows her intimately, who sees her heart and knows the purpose for which she was created. A woman who lives life without needing the validation of anyone but the one who firstly created her and then saved her.. she is one to be feared.

"Instead, just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel,

so we speak, not to please men, but rather God, who examines our hearts."

1 Thessalonians 2:4

The heart of a champion

If you live in Australia, then you know that January is the season of tennis and cricket. As a young child, I grew up watching both of these sports because my parents love cricket and my grandma loves tennis. Australians can get very passionate when it comes to their sport and when the tennis and cricket are on at the same time there is often more battles in Australian households as to which one will be watched than in the actual game itself!

I have since inherited my grandmother’s passion for tennis and I am now an avid fan. I love it! And like any fan, I have my favourite players who I love to watch and barrack for and scream at the TV for in the comfort of my own lounge room!

But it is not just watching the player’s that I enjoy about tennis. It is the battle on the court that occurs during a good tennis match, as each player tries to outwit their opponent with agile thinking displayed fighting to hear the phrase after a long battle “game, set and match!”.  A good tennis match can have you glued to the screen, on the edge of your seat, screaming at the TV and clenching your hands as you see them fight it out. This year’s Australian Open Final was no exception. Although my favourite player was no longer in the tournament, I had to watch the final to see who would win the trophy. Who would win the Australian Open title after two long weeks of tennis and many matches fought and battled to advance to the final? Who would win the glorious title of Champion?

What many tennis fans witnessed that night of the final though was not a match about the glory of winning. It was not a match about who would win the battle of the mind. It was a match that displayed the glory of suffering. Rafael Nadal, current world number one in tennis, had been suffering from a lower-back injury that seemingly caused him to lose focus, lose energy, and at one point lose hope. At one point in the second set of the match, Nadal was teary as he seemingly lost the will even to try, serving haphazardly, making many faults and errors so much so that he looked as though he was going to quit and retire the match. Whether you are a Nadal fan or not, your heart had to go out to him as you looked on with each serve and each return and you watched a champion suffer.

However, Nadal did not quit. Something inside of him caused him to persevere. The heart of champion is definitely one who doesn’t give up even through pain and suffering. The heart of a champion is one who is inspired by something more than winning. Nadal fought through that entire match – blocking out pain, blocking out the crowd, blocking out the score on the board, blocking out the odds that he had already lost the championship. He fought.

And yes, he did lose the championship. But what he gained was the glory and respect from many who witnessed this man’s fight to the end of a tough match through the midst of suffering. My question is  - would Nadal have gone out onto that arena and entered that court and began that match, if he knew what was going to happen and if he knew the end result? If he knew he was going to suffer throughout the game, would he have played that day?

I believe the answer is yes. Because he has the heart of a champion.

Two great men of the faith, Paul and Peter, were both told by Jesus that they would suffer for his Name. In John 21:18, Jesus reveals to Peter how he will give up his life for the name of Jesus. In Acts 9:16, Jesus says of Paul “I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”

Did Paul and Peter give up their battle to win hearts for Christ because they knew they would suffer?

No – because they had the heart of a champion. One champion inside them both, spurring them on.

They had the heart of Jesus, the ultimate suffering servant who came to glory, within them. Paul in fact states that he counts all his sufferings as loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Jesus Christ.

We also must suffer much. We are told in scripture that we must experience many trials and hardships to enter the kingdom of God (Acts 14:22.) But Jesus said “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world.”

What enables us to persevere in the midst of suffering when everything looks lost, when the score on the board is dismal, and the will to keep trying is all but lost?

The heart of the champion, Jesus, inside of us…….

because he has already overcome the world.

The hope set before me

As my feet pounded the pavement with the sun beaming down on a hot January morning and sweat pouring down my forehead, I wondered if I could push through to the end. My goal, set before I headed off, was to run 5km in under 30 minutes. This goal - that I set for myself in the comfort of my own house in the cool of the bathroom as I dressed in my running gear - was before I experienced the heat of the morning.

I opened the door and it hit me. It was already 27 degrees at 7am in the morning. We were experiencing one of the several heatwaves our beautiful climate brings us each Summer. And after running for about 15min, my body was depleting in energy.

Furthermore, I realised I was suffering the consequences of a late night in getting to sleep. The exhaustion my body hid from me when I awoke to my normal alarm was now painfully screaming at me as I rounded up my third kilometre.

Could I go on? Could I push through to finish the 5km or should I just stop now? Or maybe I could just walk it. It wouldn’t be as satisfying as finishing the goal set before me but maybe that was ok.

Then I remembered….Hupomone.

A funny word to be popping into my head as I am running but a word that brings encouragement.

You see, Hupomone (hoop-oh-moan-ay) is the greek translation of perseverance. It is referenced in the bible when scripture encourages us to persevere in trials and sufferings. It is defined as “steadfastness, constancy, endurance,” and it is inspired by hope.

It is “the characteristic of a man who is not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to faith and piety by even the greatest trials and sufferings”.

Hupomone is enduring and persevering in our purpose because of the hope set before us. It is pushing through and remaining steadfast in the trials and sufferings.

“For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.” Hebrews 10:36

Hupomone is what enables us to see the hope set before us of the promises of God and seeing Jesus face to face and to persevere to the end to receive what is promised to us.

Hupomone is a characteristic that comes from Christ. The Lord directs our hearts into his love and into the steadfastness of Christ (2 Thess 3:5).

The steadfastness of Christ….

He who was not swerved from his deliberate purpose and his loyalty to God by even the greatest trials and sufferings.

Oh to have our hearts directed to the steadfastness of this amazing Saviour. To have such love and loyalty to our Father God that we are not moved in trials and sufferings as we keep the hope of seeing him at the finish line greeting us with arms open wide.

If we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. (Romans 8:25)

And as I pushed through the final 2km of my run that morning, and reached my goal line at 28 minutes, I could see it. A tiny glimpse of the joy, the excitement , the glory of reaching the finish line of the end of my life having been loyal and steadfast to my God and seeing my Saviour face to face.

I only saw a tiny glimpse – but it is enough to give me the hope I need for the race set before me.

A Bigger Dream

Have you ever felt so lost within yourself that you don’t know who you are supposed to be anymore?

Maybe your soul is saddened because you can’t see any hope of your dreams becoming a reality?

Maybe you have dreams that you have hidden deep within your spirit so quietly kept inside you that you have never dared share them with anyone. Maybe they are dreams that you were so sure that God had given you that even though you have been patiently waiting for him to work his purpose out in you, the light at the end of the tunnel seems to have dimmed to blackness and you see no hope anymore of them coming true.  

Have you ever questioned God about your dreams and why they are not coming true?

Have you felt that maybe your dreams for yourself are bigger than what God has dreamed for you?

Job was living the dream. He was known throughout the land for his wealth and his greatness. He had sons, daughters, servants, land, and livestock. Then one day, it all came crashing down and he lost it all. Not only did he lose it all but he gained diseases, friends questioned him, and he experienced extreme loneliness amidst it all.

Job might have lost his children, his wealth, his dignity – but he didn’t lose his motivation and inspiration. How?

We discover in Job 23 that when Job could not see God or find God, he held on to the promise that God knows the way that he should take and that he will come forth as gold. He knew God had not lost him and had Hope that he would come forth as gold.

Job’s life and dreams were shattered beyond what any of us could imagine – yet he had HOPE.

What is our HOPE?

Romans 8:29 reminds us that we are being conformed to the image of his Son – through our trials we are going to come forth as gold, with the Son of God reflected through us. How are we being transformed into his likeness – by ever-increasing glory which comes from the Lord who is the Spirit (2 Cor 3:18).

Job’s ultimate hope gives us inspiration for a bigger dream. Job’s hope is revealed in Job 19 –

“I know that my redeemer lives,

and that in the end he will stand on the earth.

 And after my skin has been destroyed,

yet in my flesh I will see God;

 I myself will see him with my own eyes – I, not another.

How my heart yearns within me!”

Job’s earthly possessions and dreams for his earthly life did not compare to his ultimate dream of standing before God in all his glory and see him face to face.

This is our bigger dream!

Fixing our eyes on Jesus to run with perseverance the race set out before us means fixing our eyes on the heavenly dream and hope that we will one day see our Redeemer face to face. It might mean that some of the earthly dreams we have been holding on to must fall away, but in the end – this is the ultimate dream and hope for us to hold on to.

When you feel lost, sad or unsure if you will ever see any of your dreams come true, hold on to the motivation and inspiration of the hope of the promise that when you have done the will of God, when you have lived the faithful life and when you have done nothing else but stand firm in your faith – you will have the reward of the promise of God (Hebrews 10:35).

And one day you will stand before God in all his glory and see him face to face, having come forth as gold reflecting the image of the Son of God.

Now that’s a bigger dream!

Crossroads

Have you ever had to make a decision and not made the right one? You arrive at a crossroads and one path seems to be the right one, however, it turns out to be the wrong one.

My journey with God this week has been a little comical and also a huge life lesson for me. I have been doing a very in-depth bible study on David and this week’s theme was crossroads. I am thoroughly enjoying the study and going deeper with God –but I didn’t realize that I was going to get tested on it. It turns out that I had to sit a practical exam on the same topic I had been studying! I am sure it was to see whether I had actually learnt from study!

My bible study has been focusing on the story of David, Bathsheba and Uriah. A story where the man after God’s own heart is given a practical exam – and fails.

David – now King of Israel, successful in all he does and known across the land for his faithfulness to God comes to a crossroads in his life  - and he makes a bad choice. David, falls in love with Bathsheba and enquires after her. His advisor tells him that Bathsheba is the wife to Uriah – one of David’s mighty men.  Crossroad number one – David has the choice to pursue Bathsheba, or leave her alone. David’s desires get the better of him and he takes the path that leads to destruction.

When Bathsheba falls pregnant, David comes to his second crossroad – he has the choice to either tell Uriah or to deceive him. David not only tries to deceive Uriah, but when that doesn’t work, David organizes for Uriah to be killed.

David – when given a second chance to make the right choice, chose poorly. The consequences of David’s actions were grave and you can read about it in 2 Samuel 11 and 12.

This week, I came to a crossroads. I was presented with a choice and I ignored the little niggling voice in my head that was trying to direct me down the right path, and I chose the other path.

For three days I suffered with sleepless nights, guilt, and worry which all then had a flow on affect in my life. I decided to make it right. I decided to repent and choose the other path. Happy and peaceful in my decision, here came the comical part. Four days after I had made the wrong choice and gone down the wrong path and one day after my repentance and turning around to the right path – I was given the exact same practical exam again. I was given the exact same choice and the exact same crossroad that I had experienced four days before. But this time – I chose the right path. And I had peace.

My God – the God of second chances – had seen my repentant heart and had mercy on me. My God – the God of second chances – had offered me a do-over exam. My God – the God of second chances – had redeemed me and brought me peace and joy.

Each day in life, we come to crossroads. Whether these decisions are small – like what we are going to cook for dinner or large – where they affect our lives and the lives of those around us in a dramatic way, we all come to a time where we have to make choices.

The wrong path will lead us down a road of consequences that can emotionally, spiritually and physically affect us whilst the right path can lead us down a road of blessing that can emotionally, spiritually and physically uplift us.

The good news is – there is redemption. There are second chances. There is a God who loves mercy and who sees our hearts. Whilst man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart and he will not turn his back on the repentant one.

This is the prayer that David prayed when his sin was revealed to him and this is the prayer I prayed this week:

Psalm 51

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
    and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
    or take your Holy Spirit from me.
 Restore to me the joy of your salvation
    and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 

When you come to a crossroads – ask God to give you the wisdom and strength to make the right choice. And dear one – if you find yourself down the wrong path – trust in a God of second chances, call unto him to create a clean heart in you and to restore joy and peace. He won’t turn you away.

Extravagant Self-Sacrifice

 

“It is not a moral life that the gospel promotes –

 it is a life of extravagant self-sacrifice.”

 

These words have been resonating in my soul for over a week now. They were spoken at a conference I attended by Revd Dr John Dickson, who is an extraordinary communicator and the co-founder for Public centre for Christianity.

Extravagant self-sacrifice.

The word extravagant is defined as “exceeding reasonable bounds” and “extremely abundant.”

Responding to this call means that the gospel challenges us to sacrifice ourselves beyond what reason dictates as being normal and to do it abundantly.

A story that moved my heart this week was when I was having coffee with my friend, Renee, and she told me of a friend of hers who had experienced this extravagant self-sacrifice in such an amazing way that he knew it could only be the love of God and so gave his life to the Lord.

Renee told me that her friend was drawn to church one day in a state of hopelessness. He had lost everything he owned and had found himself homeless and lost as to what to do. When visiting this church, he shared with another man his state of despair and loss of hope. Responding in empathy, the man of God turned to Renee’s homeless friend and said “Take my home.”

Stunned and unsure as to how to respond, he looked at the man. “Pardon?”

“Take my home. God will provide for me and you are in need. Take my home and I will find somewhere else.”

This man was so moved by the extravagant self-sacrifice of this Christian man, he knew it could only by the love of God that would enable someone to give up their home and life as they know it for someone else.

Extravagant self-sacrifice.

This is what Jesus gave us. He saw us in despair, lost and in a pit of darkness. He had pity on us and he came to earth and said – Take my life.

Take my life for you are in need of hope. Take my life for you are in need of rescue. Take my life for you are in need of being saved.

It is the pure love of God that elicits extravagant self-sacrifice. And it is extravagant self-sacrifice that draws people to the pure  love of God.

The gospel does not ask us to live a good life. It does not ask us to live a moral life. It asks us to live a life of love….and extravagant self-sacrifice.